I was in the nail salon and my son, who is within the autism spectrum, dropped a piece of paper on the floor from his lollipop. An European American woman looked at me and said in a condescending way that there was paper on the floor. I asked my oldest child for help to pick up the paper. While the woman was leaving, she made another comment about the paper on the floor.
When my four African American children entered the nail salon, the European American woman did not have a pleasing expression on her face. She behaved as though my children were automatically going to disrespect the nail salon by leaving trash everywhere. Her tone and words were very condescending. Since my son, which is within the autism spectrum does not look like he has unique needs, it is easy to misunderstand what he says and how he behaves. At times, he will behave like he is a younger child.
The European American woman made me very angry. Her demeanor was as if African American children do not understand how to behave in public places and do not clean up after themselves. My children were viewed as if they were going to disrespect the nail salon property due to the size of the family and ethnic background. The European American was so concerned that my children would disrespect the property, that she disrespected my family with her degrading comment.
Rohzawne, I am so sorry that happened to you and your children. It is so disturbing to me that there are so many people that still judge others based on their skin color. I am also embarrassed when I hear that someone reacted that way. I am one of those people that are horrified when I see or hear another person disrespect someone because of their ethnicity or religion or ability, especially when they are from my assumed race (assumed because even though I am part Native American my Norwegian traits are more dominant).
ReplyDeleteBy the way you described her actions and words, it had to be apparent to your children that she was judging them, how did they respond to her actions or words? And did you discuss her behaviors with your children at all? I am curious how you handled that situation.
Rohzawne,
ReplyDeleteI am always saddened to see how people are so judgemental. I am sorry that this happened to your family.
I went through a scenario at one point, which I am ashamed of. I was finishing a Board meeting at my organization, and this young child came in to the room. He wasn't listening to anyone, and started making a mess of the room, pulling out books, piling the toys and the floor, and completely ignoring me when I was trying to get his attention. I had become frustrated (internally) with this child, not only for making a mess, and 'disrepecting me' for not listening, but becuase he had no consideration for interrupting this important meeting. He wasn't listening to his mom either. What I didn't know was that he had Autism, and his mother had been accidentally locked out of the building becuase he didn't hold the door open for her.
When the mom came in, she apologized for the mess, and explained. Although I had not complained to the child at the time, I felt bad for having assumed he was just misbehaving. However, we do not all walk around with labels and signs explaining our behavior, nor should we have to. I am sorry for the way the woman looked at your son, and I am sorry for the boy who came into the meeting. It is just so unnecesary for people(such as myself or the rude lady at the salon) to act that way!
I am very sad each time I think about microaggression and the blacks especially the Black Americans. I am black and have been a victim of aggression many times and I did not realize it. This course enlightened me. I am sorry to read about your experience too.I am looking forward to a world where we can truly receive people, treat them well and don't exhibit any form of bias.
ReplyDeleteRohzawhe
ReplyDeleteI see of alot of the same thngs in nail shops. Sometimes I truly believe that people do not know what they be doing. I witness a mother get very upset when pwople became judemental baout her son. I am sorry that you had to endure the ignorance of that person. I wish everyone could have a course like this where they can be educated and get some knowledge.